The world stopped. Everything was quiet, and no one could be heard for miles. It was late for some, and early for others. It was sometime between light and dark, and the rain poured for hours. And we just sat. We talked and laughed, and nearly cried, but somewhere in between all of that, I found peace in your voice mixed with the rain. I found comfort with your hand on my hair and safety just from your presence. My mind, and my heart truly felt free for a second, like I could finally breathe. Like everything was going to be okay. I feel like we always find an odd gap in time where it's just the two of us. Whether it's midnight and we can't sleep, or its 5am and we don't want to. Whether it's storming, or the sun is shining, or the moon is looking over us; there we are. It's something very foreign to me, the conversation. I am so unused to someone valuing the things I say, or even considering my thoughts on a situation. I am unused to being company, and not a burden, or a placeholder. I am unused to feeling like we share a space, and not like I'm taking up too much. Somehow you have seemed to pull me out of my shell, and set me down in yours. You made a home for me, right up under you, metaphorically. I feel like a small extension of you, like if we get too far apart, I start to shake a little. You created this little safe haven, and every time you do something new, it shocks me. You give me a space, and time, and a family, and affection, and your ears, and your words. I never asked, or begged for it. It was like you offered your love to me on a silver platter and gave me no choice but to take it. And if I'm being honest, I'm terrified. Terrified to breathe wrong, or say the wrong thing, or not say thank you enough times. Terrified that one wrong move I make will cause you to take it all back. It's nothing you did, it's what everyone else did. They left, or turned away, or sent me away, just off the smallest of fights, or even just because they needed someone to hate. I don't want to lose you like I lost everyone else, because at the end of the day, they never loved me the way you do. They never left me speechless because of something kind they did, they never gave me a safe space, they never asked if I was okay. And that's all you seem to do, give me everything I need, and you'd probably give me more if I let you. I am scared at every turn because I feel like nothing good lasts. Especially something this good. You love me like a mom, and a best friend, and a therapist all rolled into one. I've never had a good experience with any of those. So when you showed up and gave me all three at one time, it left me a little overwhelmed. And I still feel that way. So I'm trying to not feel it. I'm trying to just be, and let things happen. I'm trying to believe that you are different from everyone else, and you really mean it when you say that you love me, and you aren't going anywhere.
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